Life of the Nordic 5
by Romeo De Bordeaux
Summary: Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Iceland, and Finland are the Nordic 5. They live together whether they like it or not. This is a story of their life. I DON'T OWN HETALIA!
1. For the love of Fish

I DON'T OWN HETALIA! or The Swan Princess (you'll understand if you continue to read)

NO PAIRINGS WHAT SO EVER!

Norway : Lukas

Denmark : Matthias

Iceland : Emil

Sweden : Berwald

Finland : Tino

* * *

Outside the nordic household the trees were covered with snow and everything was calm

*keyword: outside*

"dane..." Lukas strangled Matthias with his own tie, again, for singing 'What does the fox say?' over and over again to push his buttons

"Luk- hjscasbfjveunkfa" Matthias tried to talk reason to Lukas, but only made him want to choke him even more causing him to turn blue then suffocate.

Tino opened the door holding multiple (5) plastic grocery bags "hey guys! I bought some food!"

Berwald followed after him "ye'h we b'ght s'me b'tter, beer 'nd lic'rice for y' g'ys" (yeah we bought some butter, beer and licorice for you guys)

Emil then appeared between Tino and Berwald "hello, may I have the licorice?" Tino almost manly-woman screamed while Berwald still remained calm and emotionless, as usual. Since no one payed attention Emil just simply took the licorice from the bags then ran up to his room with Mr. Puffin.

Once Matthias managed to break free from Lukas' tight hold, he took the beer running to some random location. Norway being to quiet person he is, stayed quiet and politely took the butter from the bag.

"oh my, I forgot to buy some salmon"

"let's g' b'ck t' the c'nvenience st're then..." (let's go back to the convenience store then...) Matthias poked his head out then raised his hand in front of Tino "I can go!"

"all righty then Berwald you seem tired do you want to stay here?" Berwald nodded then walked to his room.

.

**At the Convenience Room~**

"hmm...salmon~salmon aisle~" Tino said in a sing-song voice while passing multiple aisles.

"hey! Tino could I buy some beer?" Matthias did the puppy eyes "please?"

Tino sighed "okay, only one box, by the way where did you put the beer I bought you?"

Matthias stopped walking then started spacing out

"I guess you don't want to tell me? When your done go find the fish aisle, okay?"

Matthias was brought back to reality then started nodding rapidly. Tino walked away to find the fish aisle. In a split second Matthias came back beer with a box of beer then placed it in Tino's cart.

"hey Tino! I found the fish aisle!" After making several left and rights they finally made it to the fish aisle. Sadly, the only fish there was Tuna, they didn't buy fish...Then ended up only buying Matthias' beer.

.

**In the Car~**

"Tino? Where are we going to buy the fish?"

Tino looked behind him to make a reverse to get out of the parking space "Matthias, we need to get fish somehow, take a random guess"

"hmm...a store, a pet store, fish store, America, science lab, IKEA?"

"no"

"where than!?"

"Matthias, where do fish come from?"

"IKEA?"

"NO! LAKES, RIVERS! Berwald showed me a place in Sweden to fish salmon."

"wait we're going to S-sweden!?"

"yes..." after that they started their trip to Sweden with fishing rods.

.

**In the Nordic House (in Emil's room)**

" ... How did you end up in this movie?"

"I don't know!"

"did they stalk you?"

"I guess so!" he shouted in his mafioso-like voice

Emil and continued to watch 'the Swan Princess'

.

**In the Nordic House (in Berwald's room)**

Berwald was sleeping soundly asleep "hello Mr. bunny how are you today?"

.

**In the Nordic House (in the living room)**

Lukas looked around "troll? Do you have the secret stash of butter we have been saving up?"

The troll nodded then gave Lukas a bucket full of butter "let the Butter wars begin..."

He used his magic to turn the butter into little butter knights with tiny butter swords to fight each other.

.

**Back to Tino and Matthias~**

"ugh...Tino turn this car back around!"

"no! We need fish!"

"T-tino? Have you gone yandere? For fish?!"

"yes, yes Matthias I have! Now, let's buy some airplane tickets to go to Sweden."

_After several hours on a plane_

"Tino, I'm getting airplane sick..." Matthias whined putting one hand over his stomach and the other on his forehead

"stop whining Matthias, aren't you the one that mostly eats all the fish?" Tino said reading some random book.

"BUT I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO GO THIS FAR TO GET FISH!" Mathias practically yelled out, making some passengers look at him, except the ones that were sleeping, look at him as if were a mad man who just escaped jail. This made Matthias slump in his seat with crossed arms and an embarrassed blush on his face.

.

**Finally at Sweden~**

"Matthias get a fishing rod, hand one to me too" Matthias gave Tino a fishing rod.

"by the way where are we going?"

"um...It's called Lake Vänern, so we need to rent a boat"

Matthias face-palmed knowing if he complained even more, Tino would become more ambitious to catch salmon so he nodded in agreement.

"okay, time to fish!.

_In Lake __Vänern~_

"oh, man! We actually caught a salmon!"

Tino held the salmon with a both hands (like a boss) then smiled "let's get more!" they continued to fish for salmon then ended up catching a dozen (12). They went back home.

.

**Back at the Nordic House~**

"hey! Guys we're back! With a bunch of salmon!"

On the sofa was Lukas sleping with tiny butter knights fighting with little swords on his stomach, Berwald with a pink bunny and Emil still in his room listening to the swan princess theme song.

"okay...?"

* * *

**A/N:** I don't really know if this should be a series or one-shot...review...please? (insert Denmark with puppy eyes) Review because you know you ARE Prussia awesome!


	2. The Scandinavian Cruise

I DON'T OWN HETALIA! or any attractions in Scandinavia

NO PAIRINGS WHAT SO EVER!

Norway : Lukas

Denmark : Matthias

Iceland : Emil

Sweden : Berwald

Finland : Tino

* * *

**The Cruise~**

Matthias just bought 5 tickets so everyone could go to a cruise called 'S.S. Scandinavia', everyone thought that he only wanted to go because he wanted to taste beer from other countries or for the unlimited number of beer you could get free during parties.

Since Matthias told them on the last-minute they had to throw a bunch of random clothes and stuff it into their luggage. Once they were all packet up they immediately went to the location of the cruise, it almost sailed, but Matthias accidentally fell from the side of the dock. The cruise had to fish him out then docked once more so the others could get on.

"That was embarrassing..." Lukas reached for Matthias' soaked tie, but was stopped by a staff member came up to them "hello, do you need help? Do you need help finding your room?"

Tino smiled and nodded "yes please...do you know where rooms B17,18,19, 20 and 21 are?"

The man named 'Phil' put his hand on his chin forming a thinking position while tapping his shoe on the floor, after a few seconds he gave them instructions "um...go up to where it says 'floor B' then you'll see rooms with numbers, continue to go until you room numbers, I hope I was helpful." With that he left.

They went up then followed Phil's instructions.

"yes! We're finally here!" Matthias said pulling his fist in the air. He entered his room which was B18.

Lukas looked at his ticket "B17..." his troll pointed to the room and opened the door. "takk..."

"here is my r'm" (here is my room) Berward walked into B19.

Finland just wanted to rest after the eventful day then entered B20

"Mr. Puffin do you think that's ***points to room* **our room?" Emil looked at the room number "B21 lets continue watching this Scandinavian documentary"he said holding up a dvd case with a viking ship.

"why!?" flew up to Emil's head then pecked it

"because I must prove that DNA test was wrong."

_After Several Hours~_

A bell rang from the speakers in the hall "heading to Iceland, our first destination, in 10 minutes"

Emil sighed turning the tv off "just great, I wonder what those idiots are going to do in my country..."

**Day 1: In Iceland~**

"look Icy! We're in your country!"

"I'm not dumb I know my own country." Emil looked around then crossed his arms. Mr. Puffin crossed his wings, I don't know how, but he did. A puffin soared above them "hey, uncle Puffin!" he flew up to the other puffin and started talking.

"hey! ! Come back in 4 hours!" In the distance they saw turn around and salute heading to Latrabjarg Bird Cliffs

It was getting pretty late so the sun was starting to set. Berwald and Tino looked at the horizon with his hand on his forehead shadowing his eyes.

They visited Gullfoss, The Blue Lagoon, Hot Springs, Vatnajokull, Lake Myvatnn and Jokulsarlon lagoon.

"hurry up!" Emil said running to a geyser.

Everyone ran after him then saw aurora borealis or as people there called it 'Northern Lights.'

"woah...I didn't know my little brother had this..."

Matthias was talking to a group of pictonians "so, your making the aurora!? COOL! Could I have a picture?!" The picto nodded then looked at the camera "picto!~"

Berwald pulled back his sleeve to look at his watch "we sh'ld g' b'ck t' the cr'ise, n'w" (we should go back to the cruise, now).

"Hey shouldn't be here?" Tino asked.

"he knows his way back and if he is captured by a hunter he would just peck or show no mercy"

After that they headed back to the cruise ready for sleep.

_In the middle of the night~_

"nice meeting you again Mr. Bunny want some tea?" Berwald said in his sleep.

Matthias saved the video, then mouthed a 'yes!' jumping quietly, leaving the room without evidence.

**Day 3: In Norway~**

"Norge, We're in your country! I wonder if you're a drinker too!"

Mathias ran to the nearest bar, but slipped on slippery ice then fell in the snow, which oddly was soft enough that nothing was heard. He struggled getting out, because each step he took made him fall, again. He finally stopped trying to get up that he walked through the snow (like a boss).

Tino directed his focus attention to Lukas, since he knew where to go, "hey, Lukas could you give us a tour?" In return Lukas nodded then give Tino a map "first, The viking ship museum in Oslo, next The National Gallery in Oslo, then anywhere else we stumble upon..."

Berwald glanced at the map "hey, d' y' still h've th't viking ship we r'de 'n?" (hey,do you still have that viking ship we rode on?)

Lukas nodded "yeah, it's in the viking ship museum..."

After visiting the museum and the gallery they 'stumbled' upon the HMK sightseeing tour bus.

_Back in the Cruise~_

Berwald looked at his door "weird, I h'd ' dre'm th't s'me'ne w's rec'rding me...wh'tever..." (weird, I had a dream that someone was recording me..whatever)

Matthias was drunk, but still went to the party for more beer...

**Day 6: In Sweden~**

Matthias had to stay in bed because he had a cold called 'I-drank-too-much-beer-yesterday' This made Lukas happy that he even...smiled...

Berwald showed them the Oresund bridge, Technology and Maritime museum, the Vasa museum, the statue of St. George and the dragon, the parliment building then Djurgarden

"'nd th't c'ncl'des 'r t'r" (and that concludes our tour)

**Day 9: In Finland**

"so~ Tino I heard about Santa Clause Village~! Could you show me!?"

"okay,okay It's in Lapland"

Matthias sat on Santa's lap and asked for beer.

They visited Suomenlinna, a fortress built on islands, Ateneum art museum, an amusement park in Helsinki, sibelius monument, nuuksio national park, Olavlinna then lake bodom to cool off.

**Day 12: In Denmark**

Matthias smiled "HELLO, BROTHERS! I WILL SHOW YOU THE KING OF NORTHERN EUROPE'S COUNTRY!"

He practically left them behind, but had to go back and actually give them a tour.

Matthias was choked several times by Lukas because of his rant of beer, including what kind,taste and how it is made, anything you can name, the topic would immediately go to beer.

They visited the mermaid statue in which they took interest in because they never thought Matthias would actually have, as he called it, 'things that tell a story', Christiania, Nyhavn, the round tour, Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek, Rosenborg castle, and Tivoli Gardens.

Once they arrived home they fell on the couch already tired of walking, but Matthias went to the laptop and uploaded the video onto a flash-drive.

* * *

**A/N: **sorry, I stopped writing about the cruise (because I'm lazy...) please review! Actually I think this was mostly about sightseeing and attractions...


	3. Big brother situation

I DON'T OWN HETALIA!

NO PAIRINGS WHAT SO EVER!

Norway : Lukas

Denmark : Matthias

Iceland : Emil

Sweden : Berwald

Finland : Tino

special guest character - Sealand : Peter

* * *

"Hey! Guys! Guess! What I got!" Peter said holding a regular-sized red book to his chest.

Lukas tried peeking at the title "...a book?" He said completely lost, but at least he somewhat tried.

Tino smiled "a story book?"

Peter sighed "both are right... but be specific!"

Mr. Puffin tried to pull the book from his grasp, but Peter kept a tight hold so he couldn't. Matthias sneaked up behind the Sealander and smiled (like a pedo) then started tickling him. "Hahaha! The King of Norhtern Europe must know what the title of that book is!" Peter, being exhausted from laughing, let go of the book making it drop to the floor. Once everyone, except Peter, saw the title the color they paled.

'Scandinavian Vikings'

"'m, Peter where did y' get this b'k?" (um, Peter where did you get his book?) Berwald asked, slightly concerned.

Peter took out a library card "I'm supposed to do a report on it"

Emil looked out the window seeing a flock of birds flying, that probably just came back from the South. Lukas saw this knowing this would convince Emil to say 'big brother'. "I think we should read it..."

The viking trio which consisted of Berwald, Lukas and Matthias looked uncertain (except Lukas), but ended up agreeing because of Peter's rant about 'reading out loud made things easier to process and understand' and of course his well-known screaming.

Peter flipped a few pages "okay..."

**Scandinavian Vikings**

Vikings usually raided places like churches and monasteries, or any place with money, of course

The places that were raided was Britain, North Spain, Ireland, West France and the Baltic nations

They were superstitious and believed in gods such as Thor and Loki.

It is said the Vikings explored the America's before Columbus and created the Vinland map

Vikings wrote in _runor_

The ships they created is called a_ longship_ it could survive the harsh waters of the Atlantic

Vikings had swords and a _seax, _ a small knife.

_After some time of reading~_

Lukas sadly did not find any evidence that the vikings actually discovered Iceland. Emil was doing a 'beat-that!' dance.

Peter skimmed some pages "oh, yeah this is really important! Um... It says here, Vikings from Norway discovered Iceland."

The opposite then happened, Lukas did the 'I'm-your-big-brother' dance while Emil mourned and sulked.

Peter went into the kitchen leaving the nordics. Lukas looked at Finland trying to comfort his 'little brother' then headed to the kitchen as well. Peter took out a chocolate chip cookie from a jar. "So?" Peter said eating the cookie, a few crumbs falling to the ground. Lukas sighed then gave Peter $20 "there..." (their deal was to make Emil say big brother) Peter smiled and continued to eat the cookie then got up to get a glass of milk.

Emil was able to calm himself and keep his posture. "Hello, Lu-" he was interrupted by Lukas saying "no, say big brother..." Emil looked at his 'big brother' then heated up resulting in him passing out.

After some time of slapping and fanning Emil woke up with a long inhale as if he was brought back to life, magically. Lukas, being ambitious, continued to tell or annoy the Icelandic. Matthias laughed "ha! Are you going to call him what you called him when you were a little girl-boy?! hahaha!" Lukas continued saying 'big brother' quietly. While in Emils mind was a continuous string of only one word 'No no no no'

Tino put his hands up signaling 'stop' a sheepish smile plastered on his face "hey, hey Emil just call him big brother so you won't be annoyed by him any longer"

Berwald just sat on the sofa reading a magazine "its 'kay wife they kn'w wh't they're 're d'ing" (it's okay wife they know what they're doing) he said eyes moving from left to right, still reading the magazine. "Whaa!? I'm not your WIFE!" Tino yelled emphasizing the word 'wife'. Berwald continued to say the word 'wife' in the sentences 'Wife, could you get my glasses?' 'thank you, wife' and just simply the word wife over and over again.

Matthias laughed louder, Lukas pulling Matthias' tie, Tino and Berwald continuing to talk about their 'wife' situation. In all the chaos they didn't hear what Emil said "big brother..."

_The next day_

Mr. Puffin woke Emil up as usual, with a peck on the forehead "wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!" his mafioso voice sounding much more robotic with every word he said "Give me food-" Emil picked up the puffin throwing him in the direction of the wall, like some people would do with their alarm clock. He shifted his positions on the bed. Mr. Puffin looked at his owner then pecked some more, but ended up giving up and simply flying down and getting the secret stash of fish Lukas hid, he had a bunch of secret stashes saying that it would be gone and he couldn't trust anyone especially Matthias and the butter crisis back in his country.

Mr. Puffin flew down, took the fish, flew back upstairs. He carried the salmon in his beak. He was currently flying on top of the Icelandic. He had a dark aura surrounding him. The only thing in his mind was 'he didn't get me fish, making me do all the work... This is revenge!'

***drop***

Mr. Puffin dropped the slimy, oily fish on top of Emil, which woke him up immediately yelling out "PUFFIN!"

* * *

**A/N: **yay! I'm finally done! Review? Please?


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